The Science of Love

Terri Leslie Adults

The following books seek to explain the science behind relationships and provide tips on how to be a better half. If you want to understand the science of falling in (or out) of love, try these non-fiction books about chemistry, romance and relationships.

 

All About Love : anatomy of an unruly emotion
Lisa Appignanesi
Unruly, unpredictable―love is a maddening deity. In this insightful and eloquent meditation on that many-splendored thing, Lisa Appignanesi draws together psychology, literature, popular culture, and her own experiences in order to tangle with love’s paradoxes across the span of our lives. Beginning with the rose-tinted raptures of first love, she proceeds to love in marriage, triangulated love, jealousy and adultery, love in the family, and friendship.
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The Chemistry Between Us  :  love, sex, and the science of attraction
Larry Young, Ph. D.

How much control do we have over love? Much less than we like to think. All that mystery, all that poetry, all those complex behaviors surrounding human bonding leading to the most life-changing decisions we’ll ever make, are unconsciously driven by a few molecules in our brains. Physical attraction, jealousy, infidelity, mother-infant bonding—all the behaviors that so often leave us befuddled—are now being teased out of the fog of mystery thanks to today’s social neuroscience. Larry Young, one of the world’s leading experts in the field, and journalist Brian Alexander explain how those findings apply to you.
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The 5 Love Languages: the secret to love that lasts
Gary Chapman

Falling in love is easy. Staying in love—that’s the challenge. How can you keep your relationship fresh and growing amid the demands, conflicts, and just plain boredom of everyday life? In the #1 New York Times bestseller The 5 Love Languages, you’ll discover the secret that has transformed millions of relationships worldwide. Whether your relationship is flourishing or failing, Dr. Gary Chapman’s proven approach to showing and receiving love will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your partner—starting today.
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Why You’re Not Married Yet: the straight talk to need to get the relationship you deserve
Tracy McMillan

If you’re looking to get married and you’re not, there’s most likely a very good reason: you. Hey, you’re certainly not a bad person! You just haven’t yet become the woman you need to be in order to have the partnership you want. That’s where this book comes in. Based on her wildly popular Huffington Post article, Tracy McMillan’s Why You’re Not Married . . . Yet dishes out no-holds-barred practical wisdom for women hoping to head down the aisle. And this new edition features even more candid advice and sisterly insight. McMillan points out the behaviors that might be in your blind spot and shows you how to adjust them to get the relationship you deserve. Do any of these chapter headings sound familiar?
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Data, a love story : how I gamed online dating to meet my match
Amy Webb

After yet another online dating disaster, Amy Webb was about to cancel her J Date membership when an epiphany struck: It wasn’t that her standards were too high, but that she wasn’t evaluating the right data in suitors’ profiles. That night Webb, made a detailed, exhaustive list of what she did and didn’t want in a mate. The result: seventy-two requirements ranging from the expected to the super-specific. Next, she turned to her own profile.  She found the key words that were digital man magnets, analyzed photos, and studied the timing of women’s messages, then adjusted her (female) profile to make the most of that intel. Then began the deluge—dozens of men wanted to meet her, men who actually met her requirements. Among them: her future husband, now the father of her child.
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Anatomy of Love : a natural history of mating, marriage, and why we stray
Helen Fisher Ph. D.

First published in 1992, Helen Fisher’s “fascinating” (New York TimesAnatomy of Love quickly became a classic. Since then, Fisher has conducted pioneering brain research on lust, romantic love, and attachment; gathered data on more than 80,000 people to explain why you love who you love; and collected information on more than 30,000 men and women on sexting, hooking up, friends with benefits, and other current trends in courtship and marriage. And she presents a new, scientifically based and optimistic perspective on relationships in our digital age―what she calls “slow love.”
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The Scientific American Book of Love, Sex and the Brain: the neuroscience of how, when, why and who we love
Judith Horstman

Drawing on the latest neuroscience, she explores why and how we are born to love-how we’re hardwired to crave the companionship of others, and how very badly things can go without love. Among the findings: parental love makes our brain bigger, sex and orgasm make it healthier, social isolation makes it miserable-and although the craving for romantic love can be described as an addiction, friendship may actually be the most important loving relationship of your life.
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I Am an Emotional Creature: the secret life of girls around the world
Eve Ensler

Drawing on the latest neuroscience, she explores why and how we are born to love-how we’re hardwired to crave the companionship of others, and how very badly things can go without love. Among the findings: parental love makes our brain bigger, sex and orgasm make it healthier, social isolation makes it miserable-and although the craving for romantic love can be described as an addiction, friendship may actually be the most important loving relationship of your life.
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The Truth About Men: the secret side of the opposite sex
Ian K. Smith

Men don’t have glass heads. What’s going on in there? Do they mean what they say? And what are they not saying? Why does anyone in a relationship with a man have to spend so much time wondering what things “mean”? Is it good that he called instead of texting? What does it mean that he introduced me to his sister but not his mother or his best friend? Why hasn’t he said anything about my birthday yet when it’s two weeks from now? Finally, a man who knows what’s going on in there has written a book to decode men for you. It’s rich with insight and action you can take today to make your relationship better tomorrow.
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